@@@@@He remembered the expression on Mary's face
@@@@@He remembered the expression on Mary's face in the first days of their marriage when she would set a plate down before him with food upon itHer wrists were very slim and he could see again the golden hairs on her forearm
"I bet a fuggin Yid was the doctor," he said aloudThe sound startled him, and he rolled over on his backHe was becoming angry as he thought about it, and once or twice he muttered, "The Yid killed her It relieved the tension he was feelingHe felt a joyful self-pity, and he let it flow through him for several minutesHis shirt was wet, and every few seconds he would grind his teeth because the tension on his jaws pleased him
He felt suddenly clammy, and with a rush he began really to understand that his wife was deadHe felt an awful pain and longing which mounted in his chest until he began to weepThe sounds became noticeable to him after a minute or two, and he stopped, a little terrified, for they seemed remote from himIt was as if he had a coating of insulation about all his feelings, and the insulation could be shed for only a moment or two, before his pain drew it about him again
He began to think of the dead soldiers in the draw, only his mind pictured Mary consecutively in each of the postures their bodies had assumedHe began to shiver again, and an intense feeling of horror and nausea and fear spread through himHe clenched the blanket in his hand and muttered without realizing what he said, "I ain't gone to confession for too long He became acutely conscious of the odor of his clothingI stink, I need a bath, he thoughtThe idea began to bother him, and he thought of going down to the stream and stripping his clothingHe got out of the tent and felt too weak to walk the hundred yards, so he stopped outside Red's tent and filled a helmet from a jerrican of waterWhen he set the helmet on the ground it tipped and the water slopped over his feetHe took off his shirt, filled the helmet again, and poured the water over his neckIt felt cold and jarring, and he shudderedWithout thinking, he put on his shirt again, and stumbled back to his tent, where he lay without thinking anything for half an hourThe heat of the sun was oppressive on the rubber fabric of the poncho, and he became drowsy, and slept at lastIn his slumber, his body would twitch from time to tim